Life Hurts

Do you ever feel like life, like just being here hurts?

Don't get me wrong - I think life is good and that it's worth pushing through. I'm just saying that the pain is there, and sometimes it hurts more than others.

Sometimes. Like now, like yesterday, like the day before yesterday.

Just putting toes on the bedroom rug, thinking of all the steps the day requires, shuffling out to the coffeemaker, making breakfast, getting ready, turn down the heat, turn on the car, lock the back door, drive to work, personalities, thoughts, views, opinions, responsibilities, people, culture...I almost can't stand it. It feels like an unending barrage of demands and I'm running on empty. I feel overwhelmed, exhausted, trapped, scared, and mad that I'm scared. I'm on edge. I feel like I'm going to lose it.

I don't know what this is about and I'm not sure I have the energy to care. Delayed processing, spiritual attack, growing pains? I don't know.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, hoping for a glimpse of Him that'll make it all worth it.